BAKA!
by paws-bells
Summary: ItaSaku Non-Massacre AU. "Itachi-san," Sakura asked suddenly. "Have you been stalking me?" In which it took Uchiha Itachi a whole five days to declare his intentions to Haruno Sakura. In which, subtle and passive aggressive meets oblivious and in denial. Tumblr fanart exchange for the lovely draw-barvs-draw.


**Title:** "BAKA!"

**Author: **paws_bells

**Beta-ed by:** MelissaRose85

**Characters/Pairing: **Haruno Sakura and Uchiha Itachi

**Type:** One-shot (Complete)

**Genre:** Romance/Humor

**Word Count:** 9622

**Theme:** LJ Community, 50-shinobi theme #21, "BAKA!"

**Rating: **T (Contains content not suitable for children)

**Disclaimer:** Naruto belongs to Kishimoto-san.

**Summary: **Non-Massacre AU. "Itachi-san," Sakura asked suddenly. "Have you been stalking me?" In which it took Uchiha Itachi a whole five days to declare his intentions to Haruno Sakura. In which, subtle and passive aggressive meets oblivious and in denial. Tumblr fanart exchange for the lovely draw-barvs-draw.

**Created on:** 21/06/13

**Completed on:** 24/06/13

**Chapter Last Revised on:** 27/06/13

* * *

The whole thing started out innocuously enough.

The first time it happened was Monday. Sakura had just returned from a successful month long assignment in Kirigakure and had decided to treat herself to some of her favorite anko dumplings from Dangoya for a job well done. It was late afternoon when she arrived at the small shop, and since she had missed the lunchtime rush, the cozy eatery was mostly devoid of customers. That suited the pink-haired kunoichi just fine, and she eventually settled down in a quiet nook of the teahouse with a platter of the delicious red bean mochiko goodness, nibbling on the sweet, chewy treat and contentedly sipping on fragrant ocha as she wrote down her final notes for the mission report. It had been a simple B-rank diplomatic exchange with Mist to promote the growing relations between the two villages, and since there was no confidentiality factor involved, it was perfectly acceptable to work on the report in public – not that there was anyone around interested enough in her work to try to see what she was doing.

Sakura made quick work of her task, eager to get back to the rest of her meal. She was nearly done when a shadow fell over the table that she had been occupying, and a plate of kuri dango and a cup of steaming green tea were placed on the setting opposite of hers. Lifting her head to see the person who had approached her, Sakura's green eyes widened slightly when she quickly identified the lean, raven-haired male.

"Uchiha-san!" she greeted the twenty five year old ANBU Fukushousui immediately, her voice pitched an octave higher in her surprise, hastily scrambling out of her seat out of polite respect towards the more senior member of Konoha's ninja hierarchy.

The Uchiha heir immediately waved her back down. "At ease, Haruno-san," his voice was quiet but firm, hinting of the steady authority and ease of leadership that he held over a good number of Leaf's shinobi and kunoichi, herself included. "I'm not on duty right now, and like you, I am only here to enjoy my tea break. Is this seat taken?"

"…No, it's not taken. You may have it, if you wish."

Sakura reluctantly sank back down onto her seat even as the male opposite her did the same on his side, obviously taking up her invitation. Then, she watched with bewilderment as her teammate's older brother proceeded to settle in and commence with his meal. The pink-haired medic was definitely baffled, to say the least; there were so many empty tables strewn around the teahouse – why did he choose hers out of all the others?

"How are you, Haruno-san?" the long-haired nin asked by way of making polite conversation, and Sakura was so confused that she stared at him blankly for a long while before it finally occurred to her that he was waiting for her reply. Face heating up slightly with chagrin and embarrassment, she quickly blurted out.

"Thank you for asking, Uchiha-san. I'm doing fine," she replied cautiously. "I just returned from an assignment earlier today. It's good to be home after so long in Kiri."

His gaze lightened minutely with recognition. "I remember that mission. You were placed in charge of the small contingent sent over for the diplomatic exchange."

She was only briefly startled that he was aware of her mission – the parameters were hardly of high security importance, after all – and then she recalled that all incoming missions had to go through the ANBU to be checked and ranked first before they made it to the Hokage and the Mission Assignment Desk; it actually wasn't all that strange for the Vice Commander of Konoha's Black Ops to be aware of all the goings on that occurred in his village.

Sakura nodded. "Yes, I was. Mizukage-sama was quite pleased with exchange. It was a good mission."

There was an awkward pause after that, and Sakura quickly busied herself by reaching for her teacup and taking a deep draw of the warm, soothing concoction even as Itachi calmly ate his dango. As she did so, she could not help but peek over the rim of her cup at the dark-haired shinobi. This man sitting before her was one of Konoha's S-Rank legends, and his fearsome battle prowess and impressive strategic genius often preceded his name. There was a strong sense of self-possessed assurance and quiet, controlled power shimmering around him like an invisible mantle, and it really attracted her attention and fascination as a fellow ninja and warrior.

True to his Uchiha heritage, the man was also ridiculously good looking as well, what with his long, sleek raven hair, enigmatic dark eyes, high, sharp cheekbones and pleasing aquiline features. Sakura had to grudgingly admit to herself that sitting so close to the man made her heart skip a beat – just once, though. It was a good thing that she was already used to working alongside handsome bishounen and was therefore less affected by the lean ANBU's enviable good genes and desirable appearance, as opposed to the love struck masses that made up Konoha's general kunoichi population.

Thanks to her teammates (Naruto was an idiot, Sasuke was an idiot, Sai was an idiot, and even Kaka-sensei was an idiot), she had long since learned to take her personally coined adage 'a handsome man does not a good boyfriend make' to heart, and therefore the last thing she wanted to do was act like a besotted fool in front of Sasuke's brother. Besides, she was pretty sure that Uchiha Itachi-san already had enough women throwing themselves at his feet; there was no need for her to add on to that number as well.

Setting her tea cup down, Sakura diverted her gaze back to her report and gave it a swift scan through. Pleased with the quality of her work, she picked up her pen at last and signed her name at the bottom of the first page with a quick flourish. It didn't take long for her to gather up the small stack of papers and once she was done with that, the kunoichi quickly polished off the remainder of her anko dumplings and then proceeded to chase them down with the rest of the ocha in her cup.

Standing awkwardly, Sakura looked askance to the Uchiha heir and then executed a small bow towards him.

"Please enjoy the rest of your meal, Uchiha-san," she told him politely. "I need to hand in my mission report to Tsunade-sama, so I'm afraid that I have to make a move towards the tower first."

He inclined his head in understanding. "Duty calls," he murmured, his eyes fixed calmly on hers. "It was a pleasure speaking with you, Haruno-san."

She was surprised by his unexpected comment, but Sakura shrugged it off and told herself that the man was just being courteous, as any well-bred Uchiha clan noble should be. Nodding, the kunoichi politely repeated his sentiments and then quickly excused herself.

Slight bemusement marred her thoughts as she made her way to the Hokage Tower.

_That was a pretty unusual encounter._

* * *

Tuesday came next, and it had been largely uneventful.

She had volunteered to take a shift at the hospital – they were shorthanded recently and there was no reason why she shouldn't help out – and so her day quickly passed. She had been looking forward to the end of her shift; she was meeting Ino-pig at the newly opened western-styled café at the north of Konoha's shopping district for dinner and some gossip that evening – she had been gone from the village for the past month, after all, and was very much behind when it came to keeping up with the juicy tidbits on the gossip grapevine of Konoha.

The pink-haired kunoichi arrived at the appointed meeting place on time only to find the scowling significant other of her best friend slouching there instead. ANBU Tactician and Special Jounin Nara Shikamaru had not been thrilled to be reduced to the equivalent of a messenger boy by his bombshell of a girlfriend, but since everyone else in Konoha knew just how whipped he was by said female, Sakura had tactfully refrained from commenting as the grumpy male relayed the message that the 'troublesome woman' would be delayed due to her current assignment at the Academy, and that Sakura should go ahead and order if she was hungry. The pineapple-haired shinobi had wasted no time slogging off once his assigned task was complete, and shaking her head at the amusing dynamics between Ino and her better half, Sakura proceeded to claim a table at the café, preparing to wait for her perpetually late friend.

The twenty year old medic amused herself by studying the extensive menu; she could already tell that Ino was going to enjoy the nice selection of dishes and beverages that the place offered. The décor was also quite cozy and intimate, and Sakura just knew that they were going to be lounging here until the management kicked them out for the night. Glancing at the smartly dressed wait staff, Sakura was not exactly surprised to see an all-male crew; this establishment was obviously geared towards female clientele – not that she was complaining. After all, it was always nice to admire the scenery – especially since she would be paying for every bit of it, judging by the above average prices on the menu.

A slight clearing of a throat somewhere to the left of her table distracted her from her idle ogling of a cute looking waiter whom Ino would definitely approve of, and turning her head to see who was trying to get her attention, Sakura stilled, completely astonished when her curious gaze met the dark, exotically tilted ones of Uchiha Itachi.

The poor kunoichi was so startled by the sight of the ANBU Fukushousui standing beside her table that she nearly fell out of her chair when she finally regained her senses. She managed to catch herself at the last moment and quickly jumped to her feet instead. Her face colored fiercely when she realized that she had been caught in the act, and by Uchiha Friggin' Itachi, of all people.

"U-Uchiha-san!" she cried out, embarrassed. Sakura was briefly caught between trying to dig herself a hole to climb into to die of mortification and obeying societal norms and politely greeting the taller male. In the end, good manners won out. "Ah! What a coincidence!" the pink-haired young woman blurted out. "Do you come here often?"

It was a stupid question, for no self-respecting hot blooded male (shinobi or otherwise) would willingly consent to visiting such frou-frou eateries when they could just head off to the nearest bar for some cheap grub and get properly smashed instead. Not surprisingly, Sasuke's older brother just stared at her, and Sakura felt like a complete idiot.

"No, this is my first time, actually," he answered her courteously at last, giving his surroundings a cursory glance before returning his attention to her. "Do you visit such establishments often, Haruno-san?"

"No, not really," Sakura admitted quickly. For some reason, she felt like a naughty child who had just been caught with her hand in the cookie jar. "This is my first time here as well. I'm waiting for a friend, actually."

"Yes, I'm aware," he told her calmly, much to her surprise. "A certain Yamanaka Ino-san, am I correct?"

Sakura looked at the Uchiha like he had suddenly grown two heads, and then he explained. "Shikamaru-san mentioned earlier that he had to stop by here to relay a message on behalf of Yamanaka-san. I was hoping to catch him before he left."

"Oh!" Sakura sounded a bit sheepish. Shikamaru, with his off the charts IQ, was an integral member of the ANBU forces after all, so of course he would work closely with the Fukushousui of his division. "I'm afraid you missed him by about fifteen minutes. He has probably already returned to the Nara estates."

"I was afraid of that," he murmured. Sakura did not blame him; the Nara property laid on the very edge of the village – with the exception of the Aburame Hive, there was no clan compound that was further from the village center than the family grounds of the traditional deer herders.

There was a brief, awkward silence not unlike the one at Dangoya yesterday as they both just stood there and stared at each other. Somehow, even though they had worked together on several occasions before and never had any trouble communicating with each other on a professional level, Sakura found this same powerful male quite daunting to approach outside of missions and assignments. After all, it wasn't as if they were drinking buddies or anything, and privately, Sakura tried to picture Uchiha Itachi being drinking buddies with anyone and promptly failed quite miserably at it.

"Umm…" Sakura started slowly, trying hard to rack her brain for something to say, when assistance came in the form of one of the serving staff.

"Excuse me, Miss. Your order has arrived." If the waiter found it strange that the customers were just standing there looking at each other, he wisely chose not to comment. Expertly placing the elegant cup of freshly brewed coffee on the table with a smooth sleight of his hand, he looked to the raven-haired male enquiringly. "Would you like to order something as well, Sir?"

Sakura lifted her gaze to meet her companion's, her earlier uncertainty slowly cementing into firm decision. She smiled tentatively at him. "Would you like to join me for a little while, Uchiha-san?" She ran her eyes lightly over his sharp, aristocratic features and her trained sight easily saw that his responsibilities and unflinching dedication to his work and clan were not without a price. Her emerald green gaze gentled with understanding. "You look like you could use a short break."

He just looked at her and said nothing, and she briefly wondered if she had overstepped her bounds. Then, a small smile, just the tiniest curl of his lips, really, grew on his usually impassive features, and its unexpected appearance struck her momentarily dumb – _he was very, very good looking. _

This time, her heart briefly stuttered like a dying motor before taking off at an insane speed.

**Doki. **

**Doki. Doki.**

**DokiDokiDoki.**

_What on earth is going on,_ she wondered bewilderedly.

"My apologies; I look that bad, hm?"

It took her precious seconds to register his light, self-deprecating humor, and she immediately sputtered with embarrassment, her face growing even redder than before. She quickly put out her hands and frantically waved them in denial. "N-no! I mean that you are always working very hard, Uchiha-san, and that's not good for your health! You must take good care of yourself before you take care of others – a little break every now and then will certainly do no harm."

She had clearly gone into lecturing, medic mode towards the end, and this time, it was him who stared at her with bemusement.

"Very well," he said at last. "You have me convinced. A short break it will be." Glancing at the hovering waiter, he swiftly conveyed his order. "I will have whatever the lady is having, thank you."

The serving staff bowed politely in response and then retreated to fulfill the newcomer's instructions, leaving the pair to their own devices. Too late did it finally occur to Sakura that she was now sharing a cozy little table with Uchiha Itachi, in a seemingly romantic atmosphere that felt ridiculously intimate.

"Shall we sit down?" he asked then, and Sakura realized that he had been waiting for her to take a seat first before he did so. Flushing with chagrin, the pink-haired female quickly sank back down on her chair, and the formidable ANBU Vice Commander did the same on the seat across from her.

How did she always end up in this sort of situation, anyway?

The silence between them was starting to feel awkward again, and as always, Sakura quickly grabbed for her beverage as a distraction. Lifting the porcelain cup from its saucer, the kunoichi nervously brought it to her lips and took a hasty swallow. She immediately regretted it. The hot, burning liquid nearly scalded her mouth and esophagus as she gulped it straight down, and her eyes watered involuntarily. Swearing inwardly at the painful sensation, Sakura quickly set the cup back down and looked to her companion. She was taken aback to see that he was watching her with no small amount of curiosity and amusement. How she could tell that when he was still wearing that infamous poker face of his, she did not know, but Sakura was quite certain that she was being laughed at.

"Uhm," she blurted out once more, quickly latching onto the first topic that came to mind. "Why were you looking for Shikamaru, Uchiha-san?"

He relaxed slightly at her question, easing ever so minutely from his usual rigid posture. "The Chuunin Exams are around the corner, and it is our turn to host again. The list of participants just came in today; the turnout will be the largest one in history. Shikamaru-san's input is required to sort out the logistics of such a massive undertaking."

Sakura's eyes widened slightly with understanding and commiseration. "Yes, I have heard that. We are preparing for the exams over at the hospital as well, and it's so much more hectic than usual. I didn't know that there would be so many participants for this rotation, though." She paused briefly before continuing thoughtfully. "But that's also good, isn't it? If all the countries are willing to participate and are confident enough to trust in our hospitality, then it must mean that we are really in a time of peace."

He considered her optimistic outlook, and then the little smile from earlier made its appearance on his face again.

"Aa. You are right," he acknowledged softly, and it was a good thing that the waiter returned with the Uchiha heir's order just then, or Sakura would have been caught gawking at the raven-haired male like an utter fool. Cheeks reddening, the blossom-haired kunoichi turned her attention to her coffee, and nothing else was said as they were both content to just sit back and enjoy their beverages. This time, the quiet between them felt more natural, the company almost…comfortable.

All too soon, though, the shared moment was over, and Sakura was startled to realize that she actually felt regretful when he finally drained his cup and set it back down on the saucer, then unfolding his lean, rangy form from the chair in preparation to leave. His dark, intent eyes studied hers briefly, and then he inclined his head slightly towards her.

"You were right, Haruno-san," he spoke in a low, lilting timbre, that sent strange little shivers running down her spine. "A quick break was exactly what I needed."

Sakura's mouth twitched up in a small, pleased grin. "You are very welcome, Uchiha-san."

"If you will excuse me, I have some pressing matters to attend to." Then, catching the eye of an attentive staff, the ANBU Fukushousui calmly instructed the man. "Kindly have the tab billed to the Uchiha clan. There are to be no limits set for this table."

Sakura started at the implications of his orders, her eyes widening at his unexpected generosity. "Ah, wait, Uchiha-san! Please don't- You don't have to-"

"It's the least that I can do for imposing on you," he informed her in the quiet yet firmly assertive manner that was his distinctive style of command.

Sakura was not about to have any of that, though. "You weren't imposing, and this is not what I was aiming for-"

"I know," he cut her off gently, leaving her completely helpless to protest. "And that is why I insist."

There was really nothing else to say to that. Any further refusal on her part would have been construed as a slight to his honor and pride. Sighing, she at last replied. "Thank you, Uchiha-san; that is very nice of you." She gave him an expectant stare. "Is there anything that I can do for you in return?"

The waiter was dismissed, and the Uchiha turned to scrutinize her for a short moment. Sakura had to struggle not to fidget under his stare; there was something in his dark eyes that spoke to her, and it made her feel all warm and bothered. At last, he broke the eye contact and just calmly replied.

"Yes. Enjoy the rest of your evening, Haruno-san."

This time, it was Sakura's turn to stare wonderingly at the stoic Uchiha as he turned and purposefully left the café.

_He's a really kind person._

* * *

Wednesday rolled around quickly enough, and Sakura was so completely immersed in managing the hospital's bureaucratic system that she hardly had time to think of anything else.

There was endless paperwork to be filled out (in quadruplicate, at least) and submitted to all the different departments for approval and notification, and the upcoming Chuunin Exams only made the entire process that much worse. The pink-haired medic-nin had spent the entire morning determinedly plowing through the various forms and tackling all the hospital requests for the foreseeably busy period of the exams, and by the time she felt as if she had at least made a small dent in the ever growing paperwork on her cramped and messy office desk, she was just in time for the noon break.

Usually she would lunch with the other medic-nin on duty that day, but there was a case that she had been specifically requested to consult for later and Sakura decided that it would be better to use her time more productively instead. Grabbing the patient related documentation for further perusal, the pink-haired kunoichi made her way out of the hospital and to the nearest eatery just across the road, and even though the place was bustling as usual with medical personnel and healthcare providers enjoying their break, Sakura was able to secure a table for her own use. Smiling distractedly and vaguely answering the greetings of her colleagues, she quickly placed her order, collected her ramen, and then settled down for an hour of semi-relaxing working lunch.

Between mouthfuls of the savory, hot noodle, the engrossed young woman studied the patient file with keen emerald eyes that did not miss a single thing. That meticulous attention to detail was what made her such a valuable medic-nin, but oftentimes, all that intense focus also gave her tunnel vision, which explained why she barely noticed when someone stopped by her table and asked in a courteous, all too familiar voice:

"Excuse me, may I join you? The other tables are full."

Sakura's brow were furrowed with concentration as she tried to make sense of the multiple conflicting symptoms that the patient was suffering from, and therefore she did not pay much attention as she distractedly murmured, "Sure! I don't mind."

"Thank you."

The other person placed his tray of food on his side of the table and took his seat, and it wasn't long before he started on his meal, giving thanks with a polite 'itadakimasu' as he did so. Sakura's nose twitched; the fragrant aroma of ebi tempura tantalized her olfactory sense, giving her a good idea of what the other party was having even without her looking up. Sakura swirled her chopsticks in her bowl of ramen and dug up another mouthful of noodles, chowing down absently as she flipped through the binder of notes in her hand and tried to absorb as much relevant information as possible.

"Busy day at the hospital?" her tablemate enquired politely.

"Ah, not really…" Sakura replied, her eyes still glued to the papers in front of her. Realizing just how rude she was being to her lunch companion, she tore her gaze from her paperwork, a small, apologetic smile already curving on her lips as she finally looked up. "I was just studying a little-"

The rest of Sakura's sentence died abruptly when she finally realized who she was talking to.

Her smile froze briefly, and she looked like a deer caught in headlights as she gaped unceremoniously at Uchiha Itachi. A feeling very much like déjà vu crept over her – only that, well, it was _not_.

The recollections of last evening's encounter with this man suddenly decided to pay her mind a visit, and taken completely by surprise, Sakura did the only thing that made sense to her. The pinkette immediately ducked behind the dubious shield of the folder that she was holding in her hand, feeling extremely self-conscious – and flustered.

_What-_

_What was he doing here?!_

In the ninja world, there was no such thing as coincidence, and even if there were, this was clearly pushing it. Sakura did not know what to make of this; she used to go for weeks (at least) between seeing the ANBU Fukushousui, and now, they were somehow running into each other three days in a row – and counting.

What was this conspiracy and why was she somehow involved?!

It eventually occurred to her that she was being incredibly ill mannered – not to mention completely childish in her action. The embarrassed kunoichi cautiously peeked out from behind the paperwork (that she had been using in a rather cowardly and undignified manner) to see what the Uchiha heir was doing. She did not know what she was expecting, really; the raven-haired male calmly picked up a piece of battered fried shrimp with his chopsticks, and as she watched, dipped the seafood in a small bowl of tentsuyu sauce with a graceful turn of his wrist before bringing it up to his mouth and taking a firm bite, savoring his well-prepared meal – all the while politely ignoring her strange reaction to him.

Okay, she was definitely feeling very stupid right now.

Schooling herself mentally, Sakura took a deep breath and lowered the folder, intent on recovering from her embarrassing reaction to his presence and pretending that the last thirty seconds had never happened. "Hello, Uchiha-san," Sakura greeted carefully, sheepish chagrin leaking into her tone despite her best efforts not to do so. "I had no idea that it was you; you, uh, surprised me."

He looked up at her, then graciously replied. "You were completely focused on your work, Haruno-san. I apologize if I startled you unduly."

The pink-haired medic-nin immediately shook her head. "No, it's my fault; I wasn't paying attention to my surroundings." Quickly casting around for another topic, she swiftly changed the subject, "I have never seen you at this stand before, though. Were you in the area?"

He nodded. "I was visiting a subordinate in the hospital," he answered, and her eyes softened with understanding. Injuries received during missions and frequent hospital stays often went hand in hand, the parts and parcels of the life of a ninja.

"I see. I hope he or she recovers soon," she offered sincerely, and he simply accepted her condolences.

They returned to their respective meals then, and Sakura ate her ramen with an unusual focus towards her food. It didn't take long for her to devour the rest of her noodles and, lifting the bowl to her mouth, to finish up by drinking all of the delicious, salty broth until there wasn't even a single drop left. With a fanatical ramen zealot on her team, the pink-haired female knew better than to waste the so-called 'food of the gods.' Setting the bowl back down with a satisfied thump, she murmured contentedly, "Gochiso-sama deshita."

The medic took a cursory glance at her wristwatch then, and was startled to realize that she was going to be late for her appointment. A small, alarmed frown appeared on her delicate features, and she quickly jumped up from her seat, grabbing wildly at her papers as she did so.

"I'm sorry, Uchiha-san, but I have to go now; I have a case to attend to." She eyed the raven-haired male apologetically. "Please enjoy the rest of your meal. It's on me, okay?"

He looked at her sharply. "There's no need-"

"I know." This time, it was her turn to cut him off. She smiled softly at him. "But I want to."

She paused briefly, then continued almost self-consciously. "Uhm, I know it's not much, but at least let me reciprocate, Uchiha-san. Ino and I really enjoyed ourselves last night; so please accept this as a small gesture of goodwill between friends."

His brow crinkled slightly. "Friends…?"

The pink-haired female nodded. "Yeah. If you will have me as yours, of course…?" She seemed to have lost her confidence towards the end and was starting to look uncertain when he gave his answer.

"I accept your offer of friendship, Haruno-san," he told her rather seriously. He was still frowning slightly, though. "As for the meal-"

Sakura brightened, looking thoroughly relieved. "Nonsense!" she interrupted him with a small laugh. "You can't possibly accept one without the other! And call me Sakura from now on. 'Haruno-san' is a bit too formal between friends, don't you think?"

"Very well, Sakura-san," he acknowledged at last, and Sakura's cheeks pinked slightly at the sound of her given name coming from his lips. He looked at her intently.

"Then, I am only Itachi to you, as well."

"I have no problems with that." Her green eyes shone with pleasure. "Now, I really have to go. I will see you around, Itachi-san."

Deftly slipping off to the front of the stall to pay for their meals, Sakura was utterly buoyant and almost giddy as she walked back to the hospital.

_Yup, today's going to be a great day._

* * *

On Thursday, Sakura was put on an A-rank mission with Shizune-sempai to the Fire Daimyo's residence to conduct the semi-annual health checkups for Fire Country's ruling nobility. In theory, it was one of the simplest A-ranks that she could have asked for – the assignment grade marked so high only solely due to the highborn status of the Fire Lord and his Lady.

In practice, it was a complete pain in the behind.

Sakura felt as if she was thirteen again, a disgruntled Genin who had been ordered to chase after a stupid cat for an entire day when she could be spending her time on other more productive pursuits instead.

It was no wonder that Tsunade-sama had been extremely gleeful to pass this honor of dubious distinction over to her two apprentices the moment they were considered good enough to handle the professional responsibility. Although not a very well-known and well publicized fact, the Daimyo and his wife, though highly respected and beloved leaders of the Land of Fire, could be rather demanding and hard to please when the mood struck them. Unfortunately, most of the time, they were about as pleased with the notion of going through the checkup as the medics were to give it.

This time was no different.

Daimyo-sama had a huge phobia of needles and as always, had refused to let any near him unless thoroughly convinced otherwise. It took Sakura hours of coaxing and cajoling before he very reluctantly consented to several vaccination shots and having his blood drawn for further testing. Not to mention, Sakura had to submit to several rounds of Shogi with the man to put him back in a good mood. The entire mission was more of an exercise in diplomacy than anything else, and even though it was a good thing that Sakura was well trained in that delicate art – being the Godaime's apprentice and all – it didn't mean that she particularly enjoyed it.

Then, she had to help an exasperated Shizune-sempai soothe the ruffled feathers of the Fire Lord's wife, Madam Shijimi, who was very particular about her modesty and did not understand why it was so important to have a physical exam, never mind that they had to go through the same issue _twice every year_. The Fire Lady would carry on like her very life was being threatened, and a lot of quick thinking and verbal tightrope walking was necessary to placate the heavyset, emotionally dramatic female. Shizune-sempai, while a highly qualified medic-nin with the sweetest bedside manner, was not exactly equipped to handle the rather bullish wiles of the First Lady of Hi no Kuni – the poor brunette already had enough trouble trying to keep up with their shishou as the Slug Sannin ran figurative circles around her.

Sakura, on the other hand, while nowhere near as gently nurturing as her senior, could fake it reasonably well enough while being completely unmoved by Madam Shijimi's machinations at the same time. It was a battle of wills to see who could out-stubborn the other first, and with the distinction of having conquered an entire team full of stupid, obstinate boys under her belt, there was no way that Sakura would lose this match.

It took a few hours, but eventually, it occurred to the Fire Lady that the medics weren't going to go away unless they got what they wanted, and so she huffily gave in to their demands in the end. Unfortunately, like her husband, Sakura had to appease the older woman afterwards to sweeten her mood – and that had devolved into a few more hours' worth of brain deadening conversation revolving around Tora, the legendary demon cat that plagued the nightmares of the entire Genin population of Konoha.

Sometimes, Sakura wondered if Team Seven's horrible D-ranked missions involving the frequent recapture of the escape prone feline were all in preparation for moments like this – endurance and perseverance training to prepare for situations requiring them to deal with excessively problematic clients.

By the time Sakura was cleared to leave the Fire Daimyo's residence, it was nearly ten in the evening. Shizune had been smart enough to excuse herself when Madam Shijimi started in on her enthusiastic gushing over her pet but Sakura had been stuck smiling and nodding until the Fire Lady was ready to call it a night. The poor pinkette was utterly drained when she finally bowed out of the Lady's private chambers, and even though her stomach was growling voraciously at her for having missed both lunch and dinner (she had been hard at work since early this morning), she couldn't quite seem to muster up the energy to actually look for sustenance. All she wanted to do right now was crawl back home and sleep her mental fatigue away.

As such, she failed to notice the familiar presence in front of her until she was nearly on top of him. Stumbling back in surprise, the kunoichi blinked owlishly at the male that she had bumped into-

"I'm sorry-" Sakura uttered automatically only to pause and stare mere seconds later. "Uchi- no, Itachi-san…?"

In her slightly confused state of mind, she could only look at the raven-haired male – this time dressed smartly in the formal uniform of his ANBU rank, porcelain mask clipped to the side of his waist – as if he was a mirage that her tired mind had just conjured up. Then, she slowly shook her head. What was she thinking again?

"Sakura-san," he greeted her in his usual self-possessed lilt. "I thought I recognized your chakra signature." Dark eyes studied her strained features briefly. "Long day?" he offered quietly.

She sighed. "Yeah. You don't know the half of it. You are on a mission, too?"

He shook his head. "I'm here on behalf of Hokage-sama, to extend an official invitation to Daimyo-sama to attend the Chuunin Exam finals."

The tournament style finals of the Chuunin Exams were always traditionally attended by the Daimyos of all the Five Great Countries, and this time was no different. The highly publicized and wildly popular event was always a security and logistical nightmare though, with so many VIPs gathered in the same place. Sakura felt herself empathizing with Itachi's numerous roles and responsibilities – there were so many things to do and details to take care of even prior to the start of the exam proper, and he was probably being run ragged just like the rest of them.

"You must be working very hard," she murmured, trying rather unsuccessfully to mask a growing yawn as she did so. The kunoichi flushed slightly with chagrin. "…sorry about that."

Before he could say anything to that, her stomach suddenly decided that it was a good time to release a thunderous rumble of hunger, a growl of truly gigantic proportion. Freezing briefly, Sakura could only stare at the stoic Uchiha scion. Then, blushing furiously, the pinkette hastily broke eye contact and fought the urge to drop her burning face into her upturned palms instead. "…I think I'm going to find myself a nice, deep hole to crawl into now. If you will excuse me, Itachi-san."

She was about to slink off in utter mortification when he stopped her by briefly touching a hand on her shoulder. "Wait, Sakura-san."

Pausing hesitantly, Sakura lifted her head to look at him once more. "Yes…?"

He retrieved something from one of his vest pockets and then he handed it to her, and she automatically took it even without knowing what she had inadvertently accepted. Looking down blankly at the small packet that sat on her palm, her confusion quickly changed to pleasant surprise when she finally realized what he had given her.

It was umeboshi. Her favorite!

Despite her tired (and somewhat embarrassed) state, a small, delighted smile started to spread on Sakura's face as she unwrapped the delicate paper packaging and quickly popped one of the delicious pickled plums into her mouth, closing her eyes briefly as she sucked on the umeboshi. Bliss filled her entire being as the sour and salty goodness exploded across her taste buds, and when she opened her eyes to look at the ANBU Vice Commander once more, her gratitude and pleasure shone in those deep emerald depths.

"Thanks, Itachi-san! I really needed that." She sounded very appreciative and also seemed slightly more alert now that she had something to eat. She offered him what was technically _his_ umeboshi. "Would you like one as well?"

He shook his head, watching the way her simple happiness seemed to light up her entire being. "Keep them for on the way home," he told her. Then, his voice gentling, he continued. "You should take care of yourself too, Sakura-san."

She stared at him with large, surprised eyes. The pickled plum that she had been happily rolling around in her mouth was quickly forgotten as she focused acutely on the quiet concern in his lilting tenor and the attentiveness of his enigmatic gaze. Sakura's cheeks started to warm, and suddenly speechless, she could only nod slowly.

His dark eyes - so much more expressive than she had ever thought possible – lightened minutely with satisfaction, and Sakura felt her heart _flutter_.

He took a step back then and excused himself with exquisite politesse, stating a pending meeting with the head of Daimyo-sama's security detail. At that moment though, Uchiha Itachi could have declared the advent of the next Shinobi War and Haruno Sakura would have still just nodded stupidly and wished him good luck.

Staring dumbly as the raven-haired nin walked away, niggling realization – and deep suspicion – began to slowly dawn on Sakura.

All those consecutive chance encounters the last few days… had they really even been accidental in the first place?

_What are all these coincidental meetings supposed to mean?_

* * *

By noon Friday, Sakura was in a full blown panic.

The fact that she had the day off and absolutely nothing else to divert her attention to had made her agitation worse, and by the time she managed to corner Sasuke, the poor woman was completely frazzled and out of her mind.

Her Uchiha teammate, too well used to her varying mood swings over the years, merely took his time to order his drink and meal at the teahouse he had agreed to meet her at, letting her stew and simmer in her anxieties until she finally settled down some.

"So, what's this about?" the young man asked without any tact and preamble the moment they were served their food and beverages. It was quite rare that Sakura would ask to meet only him for lunch without the other morons he called teammates present as well, and her obvious unease and jumpy tension had stoked his curiosity.

Sakura immediately abandoned all pretense of interest towards her beautifully prepared bento and wasted no time blurting out her concerns to her best friend and brother-in-arms. "Sasuke, you need to help me! I think there's something wrong with your brother!"

Without any further prompting on his part, the entire story quickly spilled out, starting with all the successive 'surprise' meetings that had been going on every day of the past week, to how bewildered Sakura initially felt about them, to how nice she thought Itachi was, how handsome he looked, the way his beautiful eyes made her heart go _doki doki_, and everything else in between. In a nutshell, by the time Sakura had finished fangirling (for a lack of a better description) over Itachi, Sasuke had a very sour, put out expression on his face. He had also very quickly lost his appetite for the sumptuous lunch spread before him (more's the pity), and was regretting his goddamn curiosity in the first place.

_Gee, Nii-san, can you be any more obvious?_

"First of all," Sasuke grumbled disgruntledly. "If you just want to gush over my brother, you could at least save me the trauma and go do it with those hen friends of yours instead. The last thing I want to talk about is how desirable you find Itachi."

Sakura scowled at her completely unsupportive and unimpressed friend. The fact that he didn't seem at all surprised or taken aback by her unusual encounters with his brother was also a bit suspicious to her. "Oh, shut it, Sasuke! I'm being serious! What do you think is going on?" the pink-haired kunoichi asked with equal measures of frustration and wariness. "I don't understand at all!"

The second son of the Uchiha clan leader picked up his cup of tea and took a long sip. He looked very exasperated. "What do you want me to say, Sakura? I'm not Itachi – how am I supposed to know what goes on in that head of his?"

Sakura shot him a menacing look then. "Did you put your brother up to this?" she demanded abruptly. "Because I cannot think of any other reason why I'm suddenly running into Uchiha Itachi every time I turn around and he's also giving out very…._strange_…vibes while he's at it!"

Sasuke looked at her incredulously. He knew that this childhood friend and teammate of his suffered from tunnel vision sometimes, but this was completely ridiculous. "Sakura, if you think that there exists in this world anyone capable of putting Itachi up to anything, then something is really wrong with your head," he muttered. "And as for those supposedly 'strange vibes,' come now, it's not as if you are completely reluctant to be subjected to them, right?"

"I'm not!" Sakura immediately denied hotly, starting to scowl herself. "I'm not happy with just leaving things like this! This does not make any sense at all, and I want to know why!"

"Oh, for god's sake, Sakura, don't be stupid," Sasuke snapped. He had never been a very patient individual in the first place and this entire situation was too idiotic for him to continue to be involved in. "I'm sure if you think really hard, you can hazard a pretty good guess as to what is going on here. Why do men throw away their pride and common sense to do foolish things in front of women?"

Sakura was so struck by his sharp reply that she did not even call him out for being rude to her.

"B-but-"

"But nothing," Sasuke cut her off abruptly. He resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "Damn it, must my poor brother tattoo his intentions on his forehead or shout it to the entire village from the top of the Hokage Monument before you finally start paying him some attention?"

The pinkette's mouth was parted in an 'o' shape of utter surprise by then. Her face was also quite red, but Sasuke had finally managed to drive home his point.

"I- _Oh_."

'Oh,' indeed.

Sasuke nodded, satisfied. He sat back, glanced at his watch, and then swore under his breath. "I need to go; I'm meeting Dobe and Penis Envy for training." By now, Sakura was too used to the stupid, offending nicknames the boys liberally used for each other in the name of eternal brotherhood to take issue with his name-calling, not that she was in the correct frame of mind to do anything about it right now in the first place. Looking at the uneaten food before him, Sasuke casually passed the responsibility of the bill to his friend, flagging down a passing waiter as he did so. "I will be taking all this with me as well; the least you can do is pay for my meal, Sakura."

The kunoichi scowled weakly at her cheapskate teammate but couldn't quite fault him for his pompous assumption. The bento sets were quickly packed up and ready to go by the efficient service staff. "Wait," Sakura told the dark-haired male as he started to stand to make his leave. "I will go with you too; training will be great-"

"No, you aren't coming along," Sasuke interrupted brusquely once more, much to the pinkette's growing pique. Before she could irritably demand a reason why not, he continued. "Just stay here and think about what you want, Sakura."

"I can do that very well on the move too, thank you very much," Sakura rebutted. Sasuke just gave her an unimpressed stare.

"Of course you can, but you need to stay here all the same," he told her flatly. "Someonewill be by later to speak to you."

"Someone-" Sakura repeated, then cut herself off when she realized what was going on. Giving her Uchiha teammate a nasty, gimlet stare, she growled accusingly at him. "So it was you! Uchiha Sasuke! You were the one who gave your brother all that information about my whereabouts and preferences! No wonder you weren't surprised when I was telling you about him!"

Sasuke had the gall to just shrug nonchalantly at her. "It's no fault of mine that you are so predictable in your daily routine, and besides, you didn't sound very unhappy earlier when you were going on and on about Nii-san's actions either."

"That's not the issue here!" Sakura protested, looking visibly flustered. "Uchiha Sasuke-"

But her fellow Jounin was no longer paying attention to her, his gaze now directed to the entrance of the teahouse as he sensed the approach of a familial chakra signature. "He's here," he announced abruptly and got to his feet, ready to make his move.

Sakura panicked as she saw a certain ANBU Fukushousui walking towards them. She frantically ducked back down and turned towards his idiot younger brother instead.

"Sasuke-!" she hissed lowly, anxious and looking unbearably jumpy, like a nervous doe ready to bolt at any time. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do!"

This time, Sasuke really did roll his eyes. Women. What was it about such simple matters that easily rendered even the most capable (and terrifying) of them completely weak and useless? "I don't think I need to spell it out for you any more than I already have, Sakura. You like him, he likes you; I don't see the problem."

His piece said and done, Sasuke grabbed his bento sets and started to turn away. Then, he paused and scowled lightly at his suddenly pale-faced teammate. "And Sakura?"

"What?" she snapped a tad aggressively, too agitated about her situation to care about what Sasuke wanted.

"Nii-san is a nice person – a good person," he stated abruptly. Sakura just stared at him like he had grown an extra head.

"I already know that!"

The younger Uchiha smirked slightly. "So consider this a friendly warning; if you break my brother's heart, _I will declare vengeance_."

Sakura blanched slightly at that. The last time Sasuke declared vengeance was when the S-class missing nin Orochimaru had decided that it would be an excellent idea to mark her teammate with the Ten no Juin and then try to take over his body in the same bid. The entirety of Team Seven proceeded to spend the next three years training like mad and then haring across the five great Elemental Countries chasing after the Sannin until they finally nailed him and put Sasuke's single-minded vendetta to rest. The same traits that made the Uchiha so completely formidable and reliable as allies also ensured that they made thoroughly terrifying and relentless enemies, and the last thing Sakura wanted was to incur the wrath of a righteously enraged Sasuke – she most definitely did not need that type of bad mojo following her around.

Still, what a ludicrous threat. Sakura scowled unamusedly at her teammate, but he merely made the universal 'I'm watching you' sign (which made her eyebrow twitch something fierce) before turning to greet his brother. By now, the pink-haired female was so flabbergasted that she had completely forgotten about her nervousness – much later, it would eventually occur to her that that was Sasuke's intention all along, only her stupid friend had decided to go about doing it in such a roundabout, outrageous way – though she was grudgingly grateful for his distraction all the same.

"Nii-san."

"Sasuke."

Sakura watched (and tried to pretend at the same time that she wasn't watching) as the two brothers greeted each other. Then, Sasuke just had to go and make it worse by being completely ridiculous.

"What a coincidence; I didn't expect to see you, Nii-san," Sasuke deadpanned with an award-worthy poker face that would probably have lulled her into a false state of belief had she already not known the truth. As such, the quietly indignant pinkette could only shoot her friend (who was at the moment lying through his perfect, straight teeth) a dirty look from the corner of her eyes, and then she switched her attention to Itachi, curious to see how he would respond to his sibling's not-so-subtle bluff.

The older Uchiha looked at his brother for the longest time, and then at last he replied, his gaze falling to meet hers for the briefest moments as he did so. Sakura stiffened slightly and quickly redirected her eyes to the table, her face already starting to redden despite her best efforts not to do so.

"I have something that I want here," he spoke carefully but honestly, and suddenly, Sakura's heart was beating so fast that she could hear it galloping madly in her ears.

Sasuke just looked between his brother and his teammate, and then he privately prayed for patience. Without the extra push from him, these two would likely still be fumbling awkwardly around each other ten years down the road. It was a good thing, then, that he was such an obliging sibling and enabling friend.

"Don't let me stop you, then. I'm going, Nii-san."

Waving carelessly at Sakura in farewell, the younger Uchiha sauntered out of the teahouse and did not look back.

The silence that was left in his wake was completely deafening.

Sakura had trouble looking away from the table, suddenly intensely fascinated with the fine grains on the wood. She could sense the focus of the elder Uchiha brother on her, and an odd tension and anxiety filled her gut. Damn that Sasuke, she was going to throttle him for putting her through this entirely awkward experience (without any warning, furthermore) the next time she got a hold of him and his scrawny neck. Momentarily preoccupied with morbid fantasies of dismembering her inconsiderate teammate, she nearly missed it when Itachi suddenly spoke.

Of all the things to say, he had asked the same question that had started this whole thing in the first place – and Sakura _remembered_.

"Is this seat taken?"

Startled, the kunoichi quickly lifted her head and looked at him, really _looked_ at him this time, and now that the blinders had come off, what she saw in his calm, steady gaze took her breath away as she abruptly came to a realization.

_This. _His questions, his approaches, all of his attempts to reach out to her – it was all for _this_. It had always been there whenever he looked at her – she had just never noticed. Sakura was definitely seeing it now though, could finally put a name to _this_ and start to understand why an innate part of her had always instinctively responded to him even when she hadn't consciously known why. Now she did. Now she knew.

And just like that, her gaze lost its earlier confused, anxious sheen, gentling, her eyes growing larger and softer, _accepting_. Her nervous tension faded away, unsteady elation and throbbing delight blossoming slowly in its stead. A small, tentative smile started to play on her lips, equal parts shy and happy at the same time.

This time around, she finally saw fit to answer him properly.

"No, it's not taken. You may have it, if you wish."

There was so much more to her reply this time around, and he seemed to pick up on it straightaway, judging by how he had stilled to look at her in unspoken surprise. Then, recovering superbly, he inclined his head slightly and took his place with fluid, masculine grace, intently studying her sweetly content features as he did so.

"Sakura-san," he started cautiously after a pause, only for her to interrupt his attempt to speak to her.

"Itachi-san," she asked suddenly. "Have you been stalking me?"

He did not quite know how to respond to her abrupt question at first, judging by how his brow knitted together in confusion and hesitation. Then, he noticed the gleam in her emerald eyes, the teasing light in those enchanting verdant depths, and realized that she was being playful – _with him_.

"No," he answered carefully at last. "I wasn't stalking you, Sakura-san." There was nothing but solemn truth in his words, and then he continued in a mildly (_very mildly_) flippant manner. "And even if I was, you would never know."

A small gasp escaped her, one that was filled with quiet amusement. She was delighted to learn that he possessed a sense of humor – not the most well developed one, for sure (he was an Uchiha after all, and they weren't exactly known for their sense of humor), but it was still promising all the same.

The light moment did not last very long though, for he quickly sobered.

"It's not my intention to alarm you, Sakura-san."

"I know," she replied with equal honesty. "I was never alarmed, just…surprised."

She started to blush a bit then, going straight to the point since he did not seem to be the type to enjoy beating around the bush.

"You- Are you- Do you really mean to-"

"Yes." There was no hesitation, no self-doubt in his answer. He had always known what he wanted, and now, she would too. "If you'll allow me to try-"

"_Yes_."

He looked at her, saw the way she was smiling at him, and was immediately reminded of that one day five years ago when she had first caught his attention with that same smile, only that it was so much more radiant and beautiful now that he was actually on the receiving end of it. He was actually struck speechless for a moment, and then his eyes slowly warmed – all the things that he did not say clearly reflected in his pristine gaze.

Her breath caught briefly in her throat once more; that quietly affectionate expression of his was the most amazing _feeling_ that anyone had seen fit to gift her, and it made her pulse quicken even more to know that he was looking at her like that – had _always_ been looking at her like that. The surety in his reply had cemented hers as well, and it just felt…_right_.

"Let's try together this time," she told him, her own eyes alit with growing fondness for this powerful yet strangely awkward man before her. Now, it was her turn to reach out to him.

He nodded once. Imperceptibly. "Very well, Sakura-san."

She shook her head immediately.

"No, not 'Sakura-san,'" she corrected. "Just plain 'Sakura.' Alright, Itachi?"

He seemed pleased that she had taken the initiative.

"There's nothing plain about you, Sakura," he quite seriously replied by way of agreement, and she reddened bashfully. It was maddeningly adorable.

Sakura coughed slightly and changed the subject.

"Itachi?"

"Yes?"

"Next time, if you want to know something about me, just ask me, alright? I love your brother like he's family and all, but Sasuke's skill at matchmaking is nearly nonexistent."

Quiet amusement lurked in his gaze at the teasing note in her voice.

"I will remember to take note."

"Good. And Itachi?"

He glanced askance at her, and saw the mischief dancing in her eyes. _She was enchanting._

"Yes…Sakura?"

"Were you ever going to tell me that I have been going on dates with you for the past week – only that I happened to be completely unaware of them?"

He could not help himself – he chuckled.

It was soft and slightly rusty from infrequent use, but Sakura thought that it sounded like the most wonderful thing to her ears.

_It was a perfect beginning._

* * *

_::owari::_

* * *

**Questions That I Would Like To Answer Before You Ask:**

Erm. I don't know where the plot for this monster one-shot came from.

Okay, I was lying – actually, I do.

As mentioned in the summary, this fic is my response to a tumblr fanfic/fanart exchange with fellow fan/shipper/zealot draw-barvs-draw. I had requested for some ItaSaku love from her (theme subject to her discretion) to stoke my muse and barvs produced such an adorable/funny mini ItaSaku doujin strip that I really could not help but try to reciprocate in this fic. Basically, one thing led to another and this new non-massacre-verse was the result. I hope this meets your expectations, barvs!

And of course, to the rest of my dear readers, I hope you enjoyed this long installment.

Also, for those who would like to see the lovely fanart that had inspired this fic, please find the link on my profile page, under the 'Fanarts' section.

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FYI, in terms of level of ineptitude when it comes to courting females (all my Itachis are weighed on the Scale with varying degrees of the same issue, haha), Baka-verse (why did I choose this title – just shoot me now) Itachi is somewhere between his Ramen-verse and fiesta-verse counterparts. Not sure if this is actually relevant information, but feel free to make what you want out of it.

(For the new readers who have no idea what I'm talking about, please refer to the fic list of recommended reading chronology on my profile page.)

To clear up any possible confusion, Baka!Itachi (I'm cringing just writing this blasphemy) has liked Baka!Sakura for a long time already. He's not exactly stalking her per se in the entirety of this fic, but rather, he's just trying to get her attention, and unfortunately, of all the people to get relationship advice from, he chose his younger brother, and let's just say that the whole idea had come from Baka!Sasuke, Uchiha Matchmaker Extraordinaire.

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I think I have made no secret of the fact that I very much prefer fandom!Sasuke to canon!Sasuke, for obvious reasons. In this fic, the 'Sasuke declaring vengeance' reference serves as a little tribute to one of my favorite crack fics, 'It's For a Good Cause, I Swear!' by sarah1281. It's a completed parody fic about Team 7 (Naruto, Sakura, Sasuke and Kakashi) going back in time to change the past and prevent certain tragedies from happening, and even though it's mostly a Gen-fic, I adore it all the same. Go read it if you have the time!

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Last but not least, since this fic is pretty much self-explanatory and self-contained, I likely will not be adding on to this verse – unless the muse strikes again, of course.

Thanks for reading!

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Your reviews fuel my passion for writing. So please leave a comment if you like this fic!

-paws


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